True Tori (Spelling)

Tori Spelling.

I have only seen her in passing when someone else was watching the (long gone) hit series 90210.

However, due to the "beauty" of insomnia, in the long hours of the night I occasionally flip through the tv channels and recently I discovered True Tori.

This series is a "reality tv show" based around the fact that her husband cheated on her and them trying to rebuild their relationship.

I have often said that (regrettably) 90+ percent of men/males cheat. They brag about it and don't limit it to one time. The percentage may be closer to 99%.

The problems in their marriage has, which it usually does, hurt their children. Watching their children go through this tugs at the strings of the heart.

Contrary to popular belief, at least pertaining to the majority of online comments, Tori is a real person - a mother - and is suffering.

Even though I never cheated, and wouldn't even think of doing so, I did participate in the deterioration of my relationship. Over time trust eroded. It started like a slight leak in a pipe gradually dripping minute after minute until it created a mess.

It is evident in this show that trust is long gone and it is painful knowing that this is happening to her family and to others around this world.

If you are in a relationship then cherish it. If you are looking for a relationship I wish you well. If you are going through problems in your relationship then; communicate, listen, change, and make these a daily habit. If not then what you see on True Tori will not only be "watchable tv" but it will invoke first hand (bad) experiences and one of the most important things in your life you may lose.

Take my advice and work through your relationship problems. During the interim check out True Tori.

Jeff Schrembs

Love means never having to say you're sorry...NOT

  In a galaxy far far away (i.e. in the 1970's) one of the greatest tear jerker movies ever made was released. It's name said it all "Love Story".

 

I won't play spoiler so if you are part of the "new generation", who knows nothing about this movie, then (a) I DARE YOU to rent it - watch it - and not cry (and YES 1 tear constitutes crying) and (b) this article is not for you.

 

To the "seasoned generation(s)" (how do you like that word I used "seasoned" as opposed to "old"?) you know that THE memorable line, in the movie, was "love means never having to say you’re sorry". Pause to reflect. Still pausing. Pausing some more. Through pausing.

 

Anyway IN THE REAL WORLD saying you’re sorry IS important especially when it comes to those you love. If you don't think saying you’re sorry, or really being sorry, is not important then ask yourself this "are you willing to lose the greatest love of your life" OR "are you willing to permanently damage your relationship with those you care most about" (memory lapse alert=I forgot to add the question marks so here they are?)?

 

To take it a step further it is more important that you FEEL SORRY - that you understand the other person’s point of view - that you learn from your mistakes - and that your ACTIONS (not when you get caught or when it is too late) reflect the reality of you being sorry.

 

They say (don't ask me who they are because I am still finding out who I am in certain areas) that "you can't teach an old dog new tricks" and this is also untrue because over these past 2 years I have learned a lifetime of "lessons", and (sadly) the deterioration of relationships that meant/mean the world to me, and real lessons are not...easy.

 

NOTHING will ever replace the interaction between the ones we love.

 

NOTHING will ever replace the knowledge, the heightened senses, and the soul turning inner feelings, of falling in love...with the...one. The one that you waited for. The one you hoped for. The one you longed for. The one that you just...knew.

 

To those who haven't found "the one"...don't give up.

 

To those who have found "the one" then never let loose - never stop listening - never stop improving - never stop telling them how much they mean to you - never stop loving - and never EVER take them for granted or minimize their needs. When God puts you together with "the one" he never says it will be "easy" nor does he promise "the status quo". As each year passes there should be a RENEWAL of the relationship keeping the aspects that "work" for both and striving to improve/change/etc. the aspects that..."don't". Only by this realization, commitment, and effort can one lay their head down at night with a loving heart not worried about what tomorrow will bring (concerning the strength of the relationship).

 

I used to think that not drinking, not doing drugs, not going out to parties/bars/etc., being a good Father, never pursuing anyone else (for one night or otherwise) working hard, trying, etc. was..."enough". It wasn't. The life lesson I learned is that not only was it NOT ENOUGH but that I should have known, with every cell in my being, that it wasn't and that I should not of fallen into the "trap" of complacency.

 

For those keeping score, or who may be familiar with my online writings, you may be aware that I was diagnosed with cancer about 2 years ago. This was in addition to an "alphabet soup" of medical diagnosis/complications and very real mental/physical/emotional problems with adversely affected me 24/7.

 

You ask "how do we get from love story - to life lessons - to your illness"? Well, Mr. and/or Mrs. Impatient let me tell you. But first, because I can, I will play the "pause card" and make you read the next sentence (lesson learned...don't rush me).

 

There are those, both near and far, that I NEED (and are and have been deserving) to hear me say "I'm sorry" not because I can form the words and speak them but...because I am...and I have been and I wish I had the chance earlier.

 

It's like the saying ("them again"...who are they really?) that goes "if a tree falls in the forest, and no one is there, is a sound made" (or something to that effect)? Well, what if you are sorry - have been sorry - have changed for the better (in many many ways) and yet the persons deserving of hearing these words aren't around and/or don't provide you with the opportunity to convey these earnest feelings? Are you still...sorry? The answer is YES and the real answer is YES and you should never forget it and work, 24/7, to replace the lives/memories/moments (of each person deserving of hearing the apology) with ones of; happiness, love, understanding, acceptance, joy, peace, etc.

 

In summary, movies have their place. Words have their place. Actions have their place. But none of these, individually and/or collectively, can ever replace the exchange of a heartfelt/sincere interaction when one conveys the words of "I'm sorry" regardless of IF or WHEN the other person(s) accept the apology. That, my online friends, is the point of this story and it is especially true when it is...a LOVE story.